Nothing can prepare you for the shock, pain, and bewilderment of losing a spouse. Bereavement plunges the surviving spouse into a lonely and vulnerable world where everything familiar can seem absent.

It’s often been said that the longest journey begins with a single step. No matter how dark things may seem in the immediate onset of bereavement, a surviving spouse can find some amount of solace by taking one step at a time.

The goal of this checklist is to remove any guesswork about the steps to take following a spouse’s death.

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An Essentials Guide for the Recently Widowed

1–29 days after the death of a spouse

If your spouse was employed, notify the employer about their death. Arrange for a friend or family member to pick up personal effects from the workplace. You should also ask about death benefits, life insurance, pension, and employer-sponsored retirement plans.
If your spouse was a military veteran, contact the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) for information about burial and other benefits.
Obtain several copies (we recommend five to 10) of the death certificate from the funeral director.
Notify the local Social Security Administration office about your spouse’s death. The funeral home can also do this for you. If you have dependent children, Social Security benefits may be available to them. Benefits may also be available to you as the surviving spouse.
Contact your health insurance representative (or a human-resources representative at your or your spouse’s employer) to cancel your spouse’s health insurance. This is also an opportunity to review your own coverage and that of any dependents. Avoid making major changes, as it’s still early in the grieving process for consequential decisions. Ensure that you and any dependents have coverage in place — that’s your main concern at this time.
Find your spouse’s original will (not a copy). Contact your attorney to arrange filing of the will for probate. Some states require filing within 10 days of death.
If your spouse owned or was partner in a business, begin discussing business continuity arrangements. You may want to involve your attorney, financial advisor, and an accountant.
Make claims on any life insurance policy or other assets naming you as beneficiary. You should also roll over any retirement accounts, such as an IRA or 401(k), to your name.

3–6 months after the death of a spouse

If a vehicle is in your spouse’s name only, contact the local DMV for title and registration change forms. Also contact the car insurance carrier about your spouse’s death.
Create an income and expenses worksheet or use a spreadsheet program such as Excel to map out finances. Knowing and understanding cash flow can help reduce your stress level. You should also make a list of all bank and investment account balances, as well as any retirement account owned by you or your spouse.
Make an appointment with your financial advisor. With worksheets in hand, your advisor can help you assess and stabilize cash flow over the next several months. Continue to avoid making big financial commitments: long-term strategy will come later. Ask questions about your accounts and financial records.
Establish an emergency fund. A good goal is to maintain three to six months of living expenses in a liquid account.
Have your spouse’s name removed from utility accounts, including mobile phone and internet. Ask your phone carrier to remove your spouse’s phone number from a household account and adjust the monthly bill accordingly.
Notify creditors, and close credit card accounts that are in your spouse’s name only. It’s advisable to provide a copy of the death certificate to the three major credit-reporting agencies: Experian, TransUnion, and Equifax. This will help make it more difficult for identity thieves to exploit your spouse’s personal information.
Ask the local tax authority whether your state offers a widow’s property tax exemption.
Update your will to include a living heir.
Close your spouse’s email accounts and social media accounts or turn the latter into memorial pages. Meta has a feature that allows users to appoint someone to administer their account after death. The designee can control the page content or shut it down. Meta, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, Snapchat, and X have a form that must be submitted to delete or memorialize a deceased user’s account. Other sites, such as Pinterest, ask that you send the request in an email.

6–9 months after the death of a spouse

Follow up with your attorney about the will probate. You should be updated regularly as the process unfolds, and you may want to consult your financial advisor and accountant to ensure that proceeds are handled in the most advantageous way. Ask your attorney to advise on any changes or additions to your own will.
Assess your goals and priorities. Are there professional benchmarks you still want to achieve? Are there causes you wish to support or areas for personal growth that you want to explore? Begin developing some lists and think of them collectively as your personal and financial vision statement.

9–12 months after the death of a spouse

Begin aligning your financial future with your most important goals and priorities, with help from your financial advisor. A financial plan should reflect the future you envision for yourself and those closest to you. Discuss areas of financial literacy where you need improvement and form a plan for acquiring the knowledge necessary to feel more in control.
Follow up with your attorney and accountant or other tax advisor about the estate settlement.
Review your vision statement. How does your financial plan support its various elements?

You’ve now laid the groundwork for a future that incorporates what matters most to you, personally and financially. The most essential elements of any journey are a reliable map and dependable travel companions. Working with clients in a way that respects both their emotional and financial needs, a fiduciary financial professional can offer a roadmap for the future and knowledgeable companionship along the way.

Want to find out how our advisors can help you during this time of transition?

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“Mercer Advisors” is a brand name used by several affiliated legal entities owned by Mercer Advisors, Inc., including, Mercer Global Advisors, Inc., an SEC registered investment adviser providing investment advisory and family office services; Mercer Advisors Private Asset Management, Inc., an SEC registered investment adviser providing discretionary investment management services to affiliated private funds; Mercer Advisors Tax Services LLC, a tax services and accounting firm; Heim, Young and Associates, Inc., (MA Brokerage Solutions) a broker/dealer, member FINRA/SIPC; and Mercer Advisors Insurance Services, LLC (MAIS) an insurance agency.

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An Essentials Checklist for the Recently Widowed

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An Essentials Checklist for the Recently Widowed

1–29 days after the death of a spouse

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